Your Wedding Planning Questions

Advice on planning my wedding needed

Q. I was wondering if you could give me some advice about planning my wedding. Which do I book first - the registry office or the reception venue? I know it sounds daft, but I\'m finding it a bit overwhelming!!

From Naomi

.A. Hi Naomi - It doesn't sound daft at all. In fact it is a very good question. The most important thing is to firstly look around and find a venue that you really like. This involves going to see the wedding co-ordinator at a few different venues and seeing what they offer, their facilities, whether you like the feel of the place and of course whether it is within your budget. Only once you have found your ideal venue, should you consider a date as you will want to be sure that your venue is available before you set the date. For more help see our article on how to choose your wedding reception venue

Your Mrs2Be Expert

Children in the Church Service

Q. I have a few small children coming to my church wedding, and I am worried that they might get bored during the church service. Do you have any advice on how to deal with this.

From Sarah - Nottingham

.A. Hi Sarah - This is a common problem and it is very difficult for brides and grooms as often they want the children of friends and family to join in their big day, but, it is a fact that small children find it difficult to sit still for long periods of time. Our advice would be to firstly make sure your ushers advise parents to sit toward the end of aisles and to gently ask them if they would mind taking the children out if they become agitated. And secondly, consider providing them with a small colouring book and some crayons or something else that will not make a noise! Look out for our article in the coming months on how to deal with children at weddings!

Mrs2Be

Your Mrs2Be Expert

How Do I?

Q. have just registered with you - how do I set up a web page?

From Kaytie

.A. Hi Kaytie - Firstly many congratulations on your forcoming marriage, and welcome to Mrs2Be! We have now added some "help" buttons within the mini-website tool. However, if you have any more difficulty with this tool, please do get back in touch. Many thanks.

Mrs2Be

Your Mrs2Be Expert

Pushy Bridesmaid

Q. I find one of my bridesmaids quite pushy with what she wants to wear or do or where she sits at the reception that I am starting to find the whole thing quite stressful. It has made me thinks twice whether I want her to take part but we have been friends for over 20 years. How do I tackle it?

From Anon

.A. It sounds like you absolutely do want your friend to be part of your big day, although just because someone’s been in our life a number of years doesn’t mean they have to stay for another twenty years. That might be something you think about after the wedding though. For now it’s about you asserting your preferences and gently reminding your well-meaning bridesmaid that this is something you intend to do once in your life therefore she’ll have to forgive you for wanting to make all the decisions. Assertiveness is about being sure of what we want to say and then saying it calmly and confidently. Assertiveness isn’t about being loud, aggressive or rude. If you adopt a positive mindset about your bridesmaid’s intentions (“she wants to help…she’s looking forward to the day and wants to enjoy it as much as me…she’s really enthusiastic and that’s why she’s getting involved and stating her preferences…”) then it becomes easier to remain calm and level-headed. Have a think about what she’s said that you don’t agree with and how you’d like her to be involved. You might want to ask her to take responsibility for some aspect of the big day and this will take her focus away from things you don’t want her involved in. Once you understand what you do and don’t want from her jot down some words to describe how you feel and what you want to say. Lastly, practice saying these words aloud on your own and then perhaps run it by a colleague who will give you honest feedback. It’s important to do this “live” practice because things said in our head sound quite different aloud. It’s better to make a mistake or feel awkward with a colleague than when you’re saying it for real. Then after you’ve got this out of the way keep up the assertive approach with the well-meaning mums and mum-in-laws that might not be too far away… Have a fabulous day and all the best for the future

Jessica

Your Mrs2Be Expert

Copyright Issues

Q. We have been told by our church that we cannot produce our own Orders of Service because of copyright issues surrounding the hymns.

From Visitor at The Crewe Hall Bridal Fayre

.A. The answer that we got from the Copyright Office was that literary work is said to be protected by copyright for the life of the author + 70years. Therfore, once this time has passed, a hymn would be classed as being in the 'public domain'. I guess, the problem arises if you select a more modern hymn where this time span has not lapsed.For more information click on the link below:

Your Mrs2Be Expert

Nudist Wedding Venue

Q. Hi - My hubby to be and I are committed nudists, and we wondered whether there were any licenced nudist wedding venues in the UK that we could get married at? We know you can go abroad but we really wanted our friends and family around us too.

From anon

.A. Hi Anon - We contacted British Naturism in Northampton and spoke to a very helpful lady called Mandy who said that unfortunately, there are no licenced nudist wedding venues in the UK. You could however, have the legally binding civil ceremony and then have a naturist humanist ceremony in a naturist club or perhaps a friend's private property. This link may also help Do keep us posted on your choice of venue!

Your Mrs2Be Expert

Wedding Vow Renewal & Gift Lists

Q. Hello

I was wondering if you could offer some advice to me. My husband and i are having a renewal of wedding vows in april next year, in church as we didn't get married in church the first time round. It will be 10 years all but one day, we are having a little bit of a problem deciding if we should have a gift list as we have a lovely home and some how it doesnt seem like the thing to do, i have heard that we could ask for money to go to charity but my family are not very keen on the idea, although you can never have enough towels!!!! please help us we are stuck.

Many thanks

From Rachel

.A. Hi Rachel -

Firstly congratulations on the renewal of your wedding vows!

This is a very good question and one that has etiquette specialists torn in 2 directions to be honest with you.

The general part is that you should not make any reference to gifts on your invitations which is straight forward enough.

The more difficult part is that some experts say that when it comes to Vow Renewals, gifts are not given and that if friends and family are insistent, then donations to a chosen charity is the way forward.

However, other etiquette experts say it is only natural for friends and family to bestow gifts upon you to show their love and support and that the accepted norm would be to ask them to give lifestyle vouchers such as those that can be used for a romantic weekend away, or a trip to a spa or if you are more adventurous - how about a romantic night time balloon flight?

So, I guess the long and the short of it is, not to be forward by mentioning gifts in your invitations but when you are asked (as you inevitably will be) perhaps give them options. If you think some people would like to give to charity then give them that as an option and there are a number of organisation that do this including Cancer Research's Give in Celebration which can be found at http://www.giveincelebration.org/?referrerMrs2Be but I personally feel that if you want to put together a gift list that is perfectly fine too.

Do have a wonderful day - and don't forget to send us your story and your pictures - we'd love to feature you on the Mrs2Be website!

Your Mrs2Be Expert

Games & Entertainment Suggestions

Q. I'm having a civil ceremony at 2pm with a sit down meal afterwards, we are inviting 45 adult guests of all ages. We are orgainising a bus from the day reception to the evening do and are going to have some spare time - I was thinking of organising some games/entertainment while we wait for the evening guests to arrive - have you any suggestions?

From Bethan

.A. Hi Bethan - Thank you for contacting us. We are delighted to help you with your dilemma. Our Entertainment Expert Duane Thornborough of Elite Entertainments says: "It really depends what you are looking for. If you have already booked your entertainment for the evening reception and it is just a case of filling in time, you may like to consider a Swing Band or perhaps a Sound Alike such as Tom Jones! However, if you are already having music later on, how about considering something like a Caricaturist or a Magician. But what could really make the whole thing a fun affair would be to have giant games such as Jenga, Connect 4, Drafts & Chess!!! Of course, if your guests are a little more adventurous, a Casino is always fun too!

If you need more advice, why not give us a call, simply tell us what you are looking for, and what your budget is and we can advise you for fully. All of the items above, and more, is available from Elite Entertainment so you don't need to spend hours going from company to company getting advice and quotations."

Don't forget if you are a Member of Mrs2Be, you can get a 5% discount from us too. Good Luck and Best Wishes from Elite Entertainments

Your Mrs2Be Expert

Tips for a nervous Groom

Q. Hi -
I wondered if you could give me some tips on deliverying my speech. I get married in 2 weeks and am so nervous about delivering a speech with 70 people all looking on!

From Groom2Be, Manchester

.A. Dear Groom2Be,

Stop worrying, you’ll be fine if you follow the PPP rule, Preparation, Practice and Presentation.
Preparation is copying your speech on A5 cards in large writing which you can see easily. Number the cards, in case you drop them!! Highlight any key words or phrases which need emphasising or require a pause for effect or a response, such as laughter. Practice! Practice! Practice! The more times the better. Before you start, practice deep breathing. Breathe in for four counts and slowly out for four counts, do this four times. Don’t just look at the card. Read a phrase, look up, practice sweeping the room, make eye contact with your guests, deliver the phrase and look down for the next line. Don’t shout, just speak slowly and clearly.
On the day stay off the bevies until after the speech. Be confident, smile, do your breathing as you wait for complete silence, then begin. You have practised for this moment …your audience loved you!
Enjoy those bevies….you’ve earned them!!

Linda Barnes

Your Mrs2Be Expert

Tiara Dilemma

Q. Tiara DilemmaHi, I cannot find the exact tiara i am wanting. It needs to be gold colour based with staggered diamantes in straight lines on the front. No pearls, no crystals, no flowers, just bling!

I want to match it up with a choker necklace and bracelet I have bought from Jon Richard dept in debenhams.

Thanks

From Emma. (Doncaster - South Yorkshire Area)

.A. Hi Emma - in a situation such as this we would advise you to find someone who offers a bespoke design service so that your tiara will match exactly with your choker and bracelet as unless the same range offers them, it will be quite difficult to get a match.

Good luck and have a wonderful day!

Your Mrs2Be Expert